


Nothing Left

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-02
Updated: 2005-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-19 07:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12405588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: He was gone. Nothing else mattered. Oneshot.





	Nothing Left

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

A/N: A little angsty fix for all you angst-lovers out there. In Lily’s POV.

** **

**Nothing Left**

Empty.

There was no other word to describe what I was feeling.

Lost? 

No, I knew exactly where I was.

Hurt?

I wouldn’t know. I could barely feel my own heart beat in my chest.

Scared? 

Yes, but it was so much more than that.

I wondered how I had come to that point. How I was able to be so cold and heartless. How I could just push away his feelings as though they were nothing. As though they meant nothing.

But they did. They meant so much.

They meant everything.

Of course I didn’t realize it until it was too late. Until I was unable to apologize and try to have him forgive me. To try and make him understand.

Maybe I was just too proud.

Maybe I didn’t want to admit to myself that he was right all along.

About me.

About everything.

He always did say I was stubborn. He said that it was one of his favorite things about me. He said it made me seem larger than life.

Then why did I feel so small?

Everyone would warn me that I would regret acting the way I did towards him someday. They would say that I would one day wake up and hate myself for the way I had treated him. I told them I didn’t believe in regrets-- that everything said and done happened for a reason; a purpose. Nothing should be seen as a mistake or a bad thing.

But I was wrong. So wrong.

Regret was creeping up on me slowly with each passing second. It was a parasite. Taking everything inside my heart and soul until I was less than nothing.

I still am less than nothing.

Time became my worst enemy. It laughed in my face with every tick of the clock as I simply stayed rooted. It mocked me. It haunted me. It showed me things that I didn’t want to see. Things that I had done; things I could’ve done.

It didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered.

I had lost. I had my chance and spit in its face. I was cruel. I was ruthless. 

I was so stupid.

I didn’t want to see. The truth was right in front of my face and I was too much of a coward to acknowledge it. The truth was my downfall. The truth was my final push off the edge.

The truth was him.

And he walked away. One last time I watched him. With each step he took my heart beat faster. My breathing became ragged. My vision blurred more and more. Until he was gone.

And it stopped.

Everything stopped.

My body would not-- could not-- move. My eyes remained focused on the space where he once stood. My heart slowed down to the point where I wasn’t sure if it was still there. My breathing became slow and deliberate.

In and out.

In and out.

But it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered.

He was gone.

And for the first time, I couldn’t do anything to fix what I had smashed. It was irreparable.

People came up to me and asked if I was okay. I replied I was fine. Because I was. After all, when you are washed of all emotions until none are left, all you can be is fine, right?

I wasn’t broken. So no one could fix me.

I wasn’t devastated. No one could console me.

I was just empty. So, so empty. Because everything I was, everything I had was now gone.

He was gone.

And nothing else mattered.


End file.
